I Hate That I Can't Love You
by MagicNinjaUnicorn
Summary: For a year now, Santana Lopez has worked as a murderer for Madame Sue Sylvester, along with countless others working as slaves, theives, and maids for the twisted woman. Santana cannot disobey, lest Madame Sylvester kill her sister. But when Santana is given the one girl to murder who she simply cannot, whose life will she choose? Clearly AU, eventual Brittana


**Hi fellow unicorns! Hope you enjoy my first fanfic on this new account!**

**I'll have the boring A/N at the bottom so you can read! :3**

**UPDATE: 9/8/12-I noticed some pretty big plot holes in my original version of the story, so I've made some tweaks to it. I'll explain below.**

_W__ell, here I am. About to die. But it's a shame I'll die without everybody knowing my story. Knowing my secrets, my regrets, my love, my life._

_Of course, nobody cares. That much I know. Because really, does anybody ever care? Of course not. Either way, I'm making this recording to tell you my story. The true story. This is the story of Santana Lopez- beginning near the end._

_•••_

"I love you Tana." whispered the girl...was it Heather? No, I took care of her the last week. Miranda? Megan? Madison, it was Madison.

"You too Maddie." I was careful not to say that I loved her too...that was something I was saving for real love, not one of Madame Sylvester's errands .

"Mmm." Madison moved her hands up my body, kissing my neck.

My hand felt for the handle of my blade, and when it reached it I closed my eyes and took a deep, but silent, breath. Wrapping my fingers tightly around the emerald handle, I slowly raised my hand to the raven haired girl's neck.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, barely able to be heard by her. In a swift, practiced movement, I brought the blade down and sliced it across the pale skin of the girl I barely knew. I stepped back and saw that look of confusion, and betrayal plastered onto her face. Every time I saw that look, it didn't hurt any less.

"I'm sorry." I repeated, louder, monotonously, masking my real sorrow and my anger at Madame Sylvester. Not looking back, I left the house.

You're probably confused as fuck right now.

You probably never heard about the outbreak of Sue Sylvester's child slaves back in 2007. That's because very few people knew she _had _child slaves. But they escaped, and she swore revenge on every single on of them. Realizing that she didn't want to do that dirty work herself, she ended up going to any means to find people to do it for her, and a string of unfortunate events landed her as my Madame, and my sister in her prison.

But that will be explained later.

Sure, I'm tough. Hell, I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent, I'm totally badass. But murder is not something I enjoy. Not. At. All.

I pulled my hoodie tighter around myself to protect me from the bitter cold as I walked away from the tiny apartment.

Why does it have to be so damn cold out?

I couldn't wait to get back to the mansion, to savor the five minutes of warmth I received in the main house. My room in the servants quarters was chilly. It's almost like Madame wanted me to freeze to death before she released Maria. Probably the case. Legend has it that nobody ever escaped Madame.

"Tana is that you?" a small voice asked as I slipped under the covers of my bed. Rachel, of course. She always got scared during the night. For a seventeen year old that was strange, but here even I got nervous. Madame made sure all of her workers were terrified.

Workers, she called them.

Slaves I called us.

Which we were. We did whatever she asked: from cleaning to killing, from shopping to stealing. The cops only thought that she was a rich lady who kept to herself and had a few helpers

Nope. Even when her escaped slaves tried desperately to rat her out, no one believed them.

We were murderers, thieves, slaves. Some of us sold into it, some of kidnapped, some of us reluctant volunteers, like me, to save a loved one.

"What is it Rach?" I asked, feeling sympathetic for the smaller girl. "Madame wants you." she reported somberly.

"Madame can kiss my ass." I snorted. "Tell her I'm asleep."

"It's about Maria," Rachel added. My head snapped up and I rushed out of the small building.

Maria was a tricky subject between me and Madame. If I said something wrong, she made the sentence longer. If she said something bitchy, I said something wrong. She always said something bitchy, thus it just kept going around and around.

God I hated that woman.

My teeth chattered as I walked faster towards the mansion. My old hoodie wasn't enough to keep me warm, especially not tonight.

"Santana, how lovely it is to see you my darling!" Madame exclaimed as I stormed angrily through the doors.

"What do you want Madame?" I asked irritably. She never acted nice unless she wanted a big job done.

She saw the understanding in my eyes and dropped the facade. "I've got a job for you. If you do it...I'll let Maria go. For good."

I couldn't hide my smile. I was dizzy with excitement. After all these years...all this time, she and I could finally leave! "Name it."

"I have one more kill that needs to be done. And it has to be done by you." she smiled cruelly and handed me a picture of a pretty blonde girl.

"Brittany Peirce" the name read. The girl seemed normal enough-your stereotypical, blonde, blue-eyed teenager. Something about her rang a bell, but it was hard to put a finger on it.

I noticed that Madame was smirking-no, not smirking. The bitch was full on grinning like Christmas had come early.

"What?" I asked, trying my hardest to keep the attitude out of my tone.

"Oh nothing," Madame kept the smug grin on her face. "Think you can handle it?"

"I've handled stuff like this before." I reminded her.

"Excellent. Now get out of my sight." she shooed me off.

Walking back to the cabin and clutching the picture tightly, I wondered why she was so thrilled about this particular assignment. "Probably just happy to knock another name off her list," I muttered bitterly to myself.

But as fate would have it, that wasn't the only reason.

**Hey! I can't believe you actually read the whole chapter 0.0 Thanks!**

**I've had this idea for a while now, and I'm glad to finally get it out there! And it pains me to say that the beginning may be slow moving.**

**Reviews are very much appreciated! But no flames please!**

**UPDATE: 9/8/12-So I noticed how strange it was that Brittany didn't recognize Santana after their past experiences, which was basically Brittany living with Santana and Maria for a year or two. So in this new version, I'm changing that. I won't give anything away, but it's going to be slightly different than I originally planned. Hope this is better! :D**


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